Every Day in May #11

There isn't one. Spent all day yesterday working on the hospital newsletter, and trying to work on the other project I have going, and trying to keep the Voices at bay. It wasn't too bad a day; afterwards I had a meeting at the Sun's school trying to organize an end-of-year event.

Everybody's struggling with something these days... it was a bad "people week" and I could see that for at least one of the people in the meeting, this was true as well. The distress coming off of her was palpable, but I had to block it out. Afterwards, my entire family came to pick us up from the Sun's school (except for The Diva and Perpetual Motion, who were out somewhere else)--a surprise cuz I only thought it was my sister, and we all went to eat at a Chinese restaurant up the street from my job. We had a good time, though I recognize that the people in my family have some serious food issues. As soon as we sit down to eat people start sniping about what the other person should or shouldn't be eating and sometimes about who's got more than who (tho yesterday there was more than enough and some left over so that wasn't an issue), and it drives me absolutely *nuts*. I wonder how I escaped that little tic, though I certainly inherited many others. The Sun, much to the amusement of everyone, devoured some sushi (salmon rolls). He is such a picky eater that the fact that he eats raw fish is quite funny.

The dinner reminded me of my Grandpa though, who whenever we went out to Chicago to see him would take us out to eat at a Chinese restaurant, and do all the ordering. Then he'd sit back and nurse a scotch with water on the side. I miss him; he had issues --big ones, really-- with my mom, and especially my mom marrying my dad, but he was funny and dry and completely into himself. He lived his life on his own terms, and was completely unapologetic about it. And I do mean completely.

After dinner, sis drove me home and by the time I got in the house I was so tired I actually got in the bed before 2A. That hasn't happened in a bit.

This morning, we carpooled up to the new dojo, where I was greeted with the fact that Sensei won't be teaching down here on the Rock at all, after June. Well, this puts a major cramp in my enthusiasm. I don't drive. I may not ever be able to drive, and this is certainly one of my own personal issues I should resolve. But even if I make the step to learn how, it's going to cost me some money since I don't have a car, and tho many have promised to show me, people get real reluctant all of a sudden when it's actually time to let me sit behind the wheel of their car. So bottom line is if I'm serious, I have to pay, and it will take some time. In the meantime, there is NO way I'm getting my kid to Yonkers on a weekday with any regularity, unless someone is dedicated to taking him up there and no one is quite as obsessive as me.... particularly since it's my child and not theirs. Besides... not being able to drive is my own problem and I don't like being constantly beholden to people to get me places. The good part of this is that I can get anywhere in NYC--and now parts of Yonkers and Westchester--on public transportation. The bad part is it takes 3 times as long.

So I need to look at other options, which is breaking my heart because part of the Sun's love for Karate is his admiration of Sensei. And if the Sun were to start a new system, he'll also have to start from a white belt again, and he's done too much work to do that. So I found two other dojos that teach a similar system (at least on paper) and I will have to go investigate that. I just hope it's not too much more expensive, and then I have to hope that I can leave work in enough time to get him there. Though one dojo is apparently in midtown... and that would work much better for me than the other place in the Bronx. But Senseis can be an egotistical bunch, and so in addition, I hope that we find someone nice.

The Sun won't be happy. He has a team, and friends.... and like me, we get used to things being a certain way as much as we get used to certain people being in our lives... and the people we get used to it's hard to let them go.

Though I dunno.... kids are funny. He may take it a lot better than I am, though I have my own reasons for being tight. But this might be better all around. (I should just start these posts, "Dear Diary", shouldn't I?).


I'm not having a good Mental Health Day. At all.


professor said…
my issues is that bigbear claims to be on a diet...but you know where that ends up...that drives me crazy...either you are or not, but don't jump on all bandwagons...and stop and see if everyone else has before you finish it...

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