Funny Thing

...I noticed yesterday after I posted my "musings" was that nowhere in there did I mention a companion and how that fit into the picture. *sigh*. I guess I've gotten so used to not defining myself in relationship to a man, but I wonder... is this really a good thing?

I've already spent enough time bitching about the plight of my lovelife, and I'm bored with that subject so I ain't gonna right now, but it's still a bone of contention with me and my "wholeness" mission.

But I am thinking... cuz I'm poised between two decisions:

a.) keep those metal gates shut and just go for self -- find someone as Shoefly says "to itch the scratch". (Or my Homegirl called it-An STD. SomethinTaDo.) The problem with that scenario? Aside from the fact that it's not something I do easily and/or particularly enjoy, the people who usually give me this piece of advice are themselves enmeshed in long-term committed relationships, and have been for several years. So I suppose it's them wishing they had the choice to make. But as I keep saying, for me... to have anyone get that close to me *in the first place* I actually have to like them. A lot. Because otherwise... ew! Don't touch me!

b.) go on a mission to find someone I like and who is long-term material. But that requires mingling with the general population to weed through and find someone I like, but in the meantime you get to rub up on a lot of useless specimens. And ew! Don't touch me!

But regardless, I'm making a super effort to be more feminine and girly (which is easier for me to do in the summer, anyhow) and to practice my "helplessness"/"Damsel in distress". Which is SO NOT ME. Seriously... I have access to power tools and a decent amount of muscle and I prefer jeans and sneakers and messenger bags to girly stuff. And issues with being helpless. But I clean up pretty well so I'm trying. And I noticed I got more hits on my Myspace profile once I put a picture up of myself instead of my artwork.

Are people really that shallow?


Fat Lady said…
Well, just remember, if you put out an incomplete version of yourself to get interest, you're going to wind up with someone who isn't interested in the complete you.

I've never had a lot of patience with acting girly and helpless and I have NO patience with men who expect me to act that way. Do you really want to be with a man who needs you to act helpless so he can feel strong?

I say put on those jeans and sneakers (with a nice tight, low-cut tank top) and go shopping for power tools. That will find you a more interesting man than a dress, heels and a helpless demeanor.
The Bear Maiden said…
LOL! True... but I got to tell you that if you stand in the middle of Home Depot and look lost and/or like "what does *this* do?" in your skirt and heels, you will get FAR MORE ATTENTION than when you heft that powersaw to the cashier all by yourself with your ManArms. And as my friend Ol' Crow said recently, she does whatever it takes to get them close, and then bops them over the head and drags them back to her lair. I think, as I observe what "successful" women do... this is what works. Though I wish some guy would read this and tell me what *he* thought!
Ros said…
No no no -- and like I'm one to give advice -- what you have to do is keep switching up! Be ALL your sides. Power tools and heels. You have to keep them guessing, keep them alert, never let them fall into stereotyping you. Biker chick AND Vera Wang . . .oh wait, maybe that's just me. :-) No, seriously, go read "Why men fal in love with bitches". Bitches as in strong, empowered women. Funny book, good advice.
And oh yeah, it's not that people are shallow, it's that you look GOOD in the pic!
Jacqueline said…
Girl... you need to be true to *yourself*. Don't go putting on some show or act of what you think these guys want or like or desire. You have to be *you*. When the right guy comes along, he will fall for the real you. The whole you. The complete you. And he'll take you regardless of your baggage and stuff.

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