Funny Thing
...I noticed yesterday after I posted my "musings" was that nowhere in there did I mention a companion and how that fit into the picture. *sigh*. I guess I've gotten so used to not defining myself in relationship to a man, but I wonder... is this really a good thing?
I've already spent enough time bitching about the plight of my lovelife, and I'm bored with that subject so I ain't gonna right now, but it's still a bone of contention with me and my "wholeness" mission.
But I am thinking... cuz I'm poised between two decisions:
a.) keep those metal gates shut and just go for self -- find someone as Shoefly says "to itch the scratch". (Or my Homegirl called it-An STD. SomethinTaDo.) The problem with that scenario? Aside from the fact that it's not something I do easily and/or particularly enjoy, the people who usually give me this piece of advice are themselves enmeshed in long-term committed relationships, and have been for several years. So I suppose it's them wishing they had the choice to make. But as I keep saying, for me... to have anyone get that close to me *in the first place* I actually have to like them. A lot. Because otherwise... ew! Don't touch me!
b.) go on a mission to find someone I like and who is long-term material. But that requires mingling with the general population to weed through and find someone I like, but in the meantime you get to rub up on a lot of useless specimens. And ew! Don't touch me!
But regardless, I'm making a super effort to be more feminine and girly (which is easier for me to do in the summer, anyhow) and to practice my "helplessness"/"Damsel in distress". Which is SO NOT ME. Seriously... I have access to power tools and a decent amount of muscle and I prefer jeans and sneakers and messenger bags to girly stuff. And issues with being helpless. But I clean up pretty well so I'm trying. And I noticed I got more hits on my Myspace profile once I put a picture up of myself instead of my artwork.
Are people really that shallow?
I've already spent enough time bitching about the plight of my lovelife, and I'm bored with that subject so I ain't gonna right now, but it's still a bone of contention with me and my "wholeness" mission.
But I am thinking... cuz I'm poised between two decisions:
a.) keep those metal gates shut and just go for self -- find someone as Shoefly says "to itch the scratch". (Or my Homegirl called it-An STD. SomethinTaDo.) The problem with that scenario? Aside from the fact that it's not something I do easily and/or particularly enjoy, the people who usually give me this piece of advice are themselves enmeshed in long-term committed relationships, and have been for several years. So I suppose it's them wishing they had the choice to make. But as I keep saying, for me... to have anyone get that close to me *in the first place* I actually have to like them. A lot. Because otherwise... ew! Don't touch me!
b.) go on a mission to find someone I like and who is long-term material. But that requires mingling with the general population to weed through and find someone I like, but in the meantime you get to rub up on a lot of useless specimens. And ew! Don't touch me!
But regardless, I'm making a super effort to be more feminine and girly (which is easier for me to do in the summer, anyhow) and to practice my "helplessness"/"Damsel in distress". Which is SO NOT ME. Seriously... I have access to power tools and a decent amount of muscle and I prefer jeans and sneakers and messenger bags to girly stuff. And issues with being helpless. But I clean up pretty well so I'm trying. And I noticed I got more hits on my Myspace profile once I put a picture up of myself instead of my artwork.
Are people really that shallow?
Comments
I've never had a lot of patience with acting girly and helpless and I have NO patience with men who expect me to act that way. Do you really want to be with a man who needs you to act helpless so he can feel strong?
I say put on those jeans and sneakers (with a nice tight, low-cut tank top) and go shopping for power tools. That will find you a more interesting man than a dress, heels and a helpless demeanor.
And oh yeah, it's not that people are shallow, it's that you look GOOD in the pic!