Equal Opportunity Hater...

I am, I am
EqualOpportunityHater I am.

Mima's daughter sent this out. As un-PC as it is, I have had several conversations -- phone and otherwise-- that sound like this. Particularly in my hair salon. And anyway I'm not exactly-PC.

Although I did edit out the mildly racist pre-amble...


The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: " Rye Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"
G: "Uh... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "....What??"
RS: "Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I... don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! Toes!..Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin
will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No, just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?!?"
G: "I mean butter... just put the butter on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy... rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjooberrymuds."
G: "You're welcome."


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