Thursday, July 2, 2009

Trying To Make Myself

...write something every day. I do write most days, I just don't always get to finish it or post it.

Today was a wallowing day. I should have gotten up, should have tried to make some order out of chaos, should have finished projects, but I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was stay in the bed and make the world go away. But I had to get up. I didn't accomplish much once I did, though.

It's interesting today that I got several text messages from NoneOtherThan. I know what he wants. I could ask him why it is that he wants what he wants when he has so many other damn options. I could leave it alone.

But I'm not going to. I know WHY he wants, cuz currently he can't have. It's probably dangerous and will probably hurt at some point, but I can't afford a tattoo, and it will redirect my heart from the Cricket. See, I'm an all or nothing chick. I can only do one thing at a time.

The difference is I know it's a snake I'm picking up. I've been bitten. I know not to hold it close. Truth be told, I don't even think I want to hold it close. I just want to redirect.

But that's how I feel right now.

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