It's Over
I think. Like I said earlier, it feels like someone has given me back to much change. Like when you go to pay for something that's 5.99, and you pay with a twenty, and you get back the change for 5.99, plus the original $20. And you happen to need that $20 so you back out of the store real quick before anyone notices.
After all this time, it was very anticlimactic. Very. The importance almost slipped by me mainly because I was wrapped up in the logistics of the trip. But I am now the sole custodian of my own child. Two judges, three law guardians and four lawyers. Plus two subs.
In May of '02, when The Sun's dad informed me he wasn't going to bring my kid home when I asked, and I went up to Yonkers to retrieve him along with one of the Yonkers PD's finest (not) I knew that FBB (or "f." as the new acronym has become) would retaliate. So I went to the Bronx Family Courthouse and filed for an order of protection. It wasn't just that he didn't bring my kid home; it was that his not bringing my kid home and scaring the living shit out of me was the final straw in 3 years of emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, with slowly escalating bouts of violence. Meaning that although there weren't that many physical incidents, when there were, each one was worse than the last. And I never knew how bad it would be. Sometimes everything was cool. Sometimes all hell broke loose.
I was granted a temporary OP. It made me feel good to think that someone believed me. I anticipated talking about visitation. But I was sued for custody instead. Full legal custody. Come to find out, that since we were never married, the Sun's custody was a techical "grey area." Two years after I first went to court, I won a "permanent" order of protection. And today, after various "I wish I'd known"'s, "I should have done..."'s and "oh my God, MUST it take this long!?"'s, I have custody of my Sun. He belongs to me, legally.
Although, I as get ready to post this, he has been located in California, on his way to his dah's house. Which is maybe why it was anticlimactic... I still had to let him go. But it's OK. Cuz I know he'll come back. Legally, he has to.
After all this time, it was very anticlimactic. Very. The importance almost slipped by me mainly because I was wrapped up in the logistics of the trip. But I am now the sole custodian of my own child. Two judges, three law guardians and four lawyers. Plus two subs.
In May of '02, when The Sun's dad informed me he wasn't going to bring my kid home when I asked, and I went up to Yonkers to retrieve him along with one of the Yonkers PD's finest (not) I knew that FBB (or "f." as the new acronym has become) would retaliate. So I went to the Bronx Family Courthouse and filed for an order of protection. It wasn't just that he didn't bring my kid home; it was that his not bringing my kid home and scaring the living shit out of me was the final straw in 3 years of emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, with slowly escalating bouts of violence. Meaning that although there weren't that many physical incidents, when there were, each one was worse than the last. And I never knew how bad it would be. Sometimes everything was cool. Sometimes all hell broke loose.
I was granted a temporary OP. It made me feel good to think that someone believed me. I anticipated talking about visitation. But I was sued for custody instead. Full legal custody. Come to find out, that since we were never married, the Sun's custody was a techical "grey area." Two years after I first went to court, I won a "permanent" order of protection. And today, after various "I wish I'd known"'s, "I should have done..."'s and "oh my God, MUST it take this long!?"'s, I have custody of my Sun. He belongs to me, legally.
Although, I as get ready to post this, he has been located in California, on his way to his dah's house. Which is maybe why it was anticlimactic... I still had to let him go. But it's OK. Cuz I know he'll come back. Legally, he has to.
Comments
I'm glad you have peace of mind to be able to locate him. He will be fine when he returns-kids are resilient even if FBB gets prickly. Then the two of you can get back in your routine :)
Again a big happy yell for you.
And he will be okay. He's got to do this. I know because I was in his place so many moons ago.
Hugs,
Ginger