It's Over

I think. Like I said earlier, it feels like someone has given me back to much change. Like when you go to pay for something that's 5.99, and you pay with a twenty, and you get back the change for 5.99, plus the original $20. And you happen to need that $20 so you back out of the store real quick before anyone notices.

After all this time, it was very anticlimactic. Very. The importance almost slipped by me mainly because I was wrapped up in the logistics of the trip. But I am now the sole custodian of my own child. Two judges, three law guardians and four lawyers. Plus two subs.

In May of '02, when The Sun's dad informed me he wasn't going to bring my kid home when I asked, and I went up to Yonkers to retrieve him along with one of the Yonkers PD's finest (not) I knew that FBB (or "f." as the new acronym has become) would retaliate. So I went to the Bronx Family Courthouse and filed for an order of protection. It wasn't just that he didn't bring my kid home; it was that his not bringing my kid home and scaring the living shit out of me was the final straw in 3 years of emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, with slowly escalating bouts of violence. Meaning that although there weren't that many physical incidents, when there were, each one was worse than the last. And I never knew how bad it would be. Sometimes everything was cool. Sometimes all hell broke loose.

I was granted a temporary OP. It made me feel good to think that someone believed me. I anticipated talking about visitation. But I was sued for custody instead. Full legal custody. Come to find out, that since we were never married, the Sun's custody was a techical "grey area." Two years after I first went to court, I won a "permanent" order of protection. And today, after various "I wish I'd known"'s, "I should have done..."'s and "oh my God, MUST it take this long!?"'s, I have custody of my Sun. He belongs to me, legally.

Although, I as get ready to post this, he has been located in California, on his way to his dah's house. Which is maybe why it was anticlimactic... I still had to let him go. But it's OK. Cuz I know he'll come back. Legally, he has to.


Ros said…
He will always come back. And he will manage this trip, as will you. PV's upon PV's for both of you this week.
Regina said…
PV's for you and the Sun this week as you get through this visit. And now you know legally what you've known all along - he is YOURS - heart and soul!!! So sorry you had to go through all this - but that little man is SOOOO worth it! great job Mom!
Fat Lady said…
Well, I already yelled in your phone last night! So my joy at the courts recognizing what's right and true has been expressed. It does seem ironic, odd, contradictory that you would be awarded full custody on the same day you are forced to let him be taken so far away from you. But he will be back and he will be fine. When Sugar teased him about being hooked on video games he insisted he wasn't and that the only thing he couldn't do with out was his mom. So I think that boy would walk home if he had to. I don't think there's anything that could keep you apart.
Janet said…
Congratulations. You've won at least part of the battle.

I'm glad you have peace of mind to be able to locate him. He will be fine when he returns-kids are resilient even if FBB gets prickly. Then the two of you can get back in your routine :)
Ginger said…
Hey Jesi,
Again a big happy yell for you.

And he will be okay. He's got to do this. I know because I was in his place so many moons ago.

The Bear Maiden said…
Hey, ladies. Thanks for being there and sharing and caring....

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