Yes, The Beast Was Tamed

and oh, my what a fight. It bared it's teeth and snarled, and dared to be defied.

I finally got the Sun in the shower about 11AM yesterday, and wet The Hair (the water rolled right off) and I almost cried. I squeezed a bottle of Infusium Leave-In, plus the half of Creme of Nature Detangling conditioner I had left, and about another half a bottle of Pantene 3-minute conditioner, rubbing it in to the knots and pulling them down. So instead of being one big dread, it was now several LARGE dreads that were hard and solid. Left to my own devices, I would have just gotten out the scissors, but the Sun wouldn't hear of it. So I massaged knots and pulled some more, and finally, The Hair had some length again. But Sun had been in the shower an hour already, so I wrapped up Hair in Saran wrap and put a black plastic bag on top and he stayed liked that for another few hours.

The Professor had called and said the Fam was coming, and that she would detangle it when she got there. Then Shoefly called. I told her the progress (none, really) and she said "I can do it, bring him here". I was doubtful, but she told me she could (and suppose she'll be the one to tame TF!) and so we unwrapped The Hair (I'd done a good job, because conditioner poured out), smoothed it into a ponytail and headed over.

ShoeFly broke out all her best whips. Pantene Hair Serum. Paul Mitchell Hair Serum. Matrix something-or-other ("$16 a bottle!" she said) conditioner. Her kitchen sink has a hose that works, so we stood in front of it, one on either side of the Sun and began to work. And she did the hard work because I admit I was scared. Too much emotion I think, attached to that hair and I couldn't face it. But in her usual emotionless, authoritative way, ShoeFly attacked that snarling, writhing beast. It bit and snarled and fought back. Mermaids and killer whales, porpoises and seal pups jumped out of it. But finally, it was tamed and we smoothed it into long twisted ropes. Amazing.

The Professor was disappointed, but I couldn't wait, couldn't look at it like that. But I try to be a fair person, and so I'm going to stop here and print a "retraction". TF may not have set about to sabotage the hair on purpose, because there are pictures on The Sun's phone of him at the beach with the braids. The Sun said "I got sand in them" and I should have told him that all he had to do was spray them down in the shower till he came home. I think now that TF still thinks the Sun has that soft, gentle baby hair he had the first time; before it was cut, and I think he thought he could handle it.

But when the beast was loose, after a long summer of sun and surf and sweat and being tamed by braids, it wasn't having it, and fought TF and kicked his ass. And the Professor is right; that's why he didn't want me to meet them at the gate; didn't want "a scene" cuz he thought I'd freak out on him. Not that I ever have in public. Even when he brought back a shaved 4YO Sun, I didn't. I went into the Police Clerk's office and cried instead, after TF had left the precinct.

FatLady had said to me on the phone that maybe TF would cut his hair out there, and I had said I doubted it because it was written in the order. He gets off on doing what you specifically didn't call him on. And I think the Sun has been adamant with him on his own, enough for him to know not to do that. Nevertheless, I had resigned myself to meeting a bald baby at the gate, and was relieved that I didn't. I think he took some joy in the fact that The Beast won, though, but I don't think he set out to do it on purpose.

The Fam came up, all but the Diva, and Perpetual Motion was so happy to have his Sun back. He even waved at the Moon, who was here. "Hi, guys" he said. And then the three of them ran so much it made me dizzy, and we all compromised to go Seafood City, sat outside by the water, and ate.

Afterwards, the Sun and I watched Eragon (though I kept drifting off) cuddled on the couch. I realized how very much I missed him and his company. It was a long week.

I've let the conditioner dry in the Sun's hair and today we'll rinse it all out, condition it again and see if it's tame enough to be let out on a leash. I told you, that Hair has a life of it's own.


Jacqueline said…
I am sooooooooo glad you didn't cut it! Thank goodness for Shoefly and the Professor!!!! Once it's tame, can you braid it again? With a few braids on top of his head? Didn't he have that before he left?
ratgirlny said…
Bwa-ha-ha! I know how tangled M's hair has been getting this summer, with the everyday swimming and all, and his hair isn't nearly the length you are dealing with. We've had some major battle sessions though. I like that detangler stuff that comes in the spritz bottle. We throughly soak in hair in it before attempting to comb. M calls it the WD30 oil. It makes his hair texture nasty afterwards, but then we can wash it out and start again.
Nina said…
Yay, I'm really glad you listened to "the experts" on the matter--the hair. I am practicing that, myself, so I'm cheering you on for not giving up. A good lesson, no doubt for the Hair's owner. :)
If you need me to explain Naruto to you, just let me know. It works best to watch the entire series from start to episode 100. I do have the entire thing (less about 45 minutes) on DVD and I can copy it and send it to you if you want it. This season of Naruto is actually the best. I'm glad that the Hair lost the war. So, the f thought that he knew all about Sun's unusual hair. But what does he know? Nothing. We all could have told him that but he isn't listening to anything that anyone is saying to him. We know how much you love your Sun. I'm glad that he didn't have his hair cut.

Popular Posts