Ugh! And Other Random Thoughts

I haven't bitched about The Job in a while because it had settled into What It Is... day after day of nothing to do, continually "suspended" Staff bashes (except that what happened is the Big Kahuna is picking her favorites to do do Special Project Meetings) and occasional spurts of "Ugh!" Like I was called upon to do a flyer for a Community event. The "client" liked it. My (on paper) boss said it was effective. It spoke to the targeted audience, (minority-particularly-Hispanic men in East Harlem, over 50 with families who should get a prostate cancer screening and who probably won't unless you "guilt" them into it). But NOPE! It got completely redone.

On the left is how I'd originally turned it loose, and the client was happy. Granted, I have a tendency to start with EverythingButTheKitchenSink, but on the other hand people respond to pictures way better than they do text.

On the right, after some suggestions/reworking/re-writing of the text (by BigBird -- a writerNOTadesigner, who at first said "no pictures"--mind you the client had specifically requested a "family" feel and the Prostate Cancer ribbon)












but then while I was out Pow Wowin', this happened:


Ugh. Whatever. But it gets to be really frustrating.

And the only thing anyone other than my boss has said to me today was "Can you take a picture tomorrow?" And I said sure! Actually... no one *said* anything. I was emailed. I sit about 8 yards, as the crow flies, from her office. And I've been gone 4 business days.

I also come back to find that while the Big Kahuna is out for two weeks, she has appointed NewGayGuyHiredAsWebTeamLeader to be in charge of the ENTIRE department. Bypassing my boss--(straight) manger of 12 years, and BigBird (who has been added to the 'dis list') in the process. And the two press people are sitting here like they belong here. Then they all went into a meeting and us RedHeadedStepChildren huddled in my boss's office just because.

We've all decided we just want to be fired.
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On another tack, the Sugarcube is back sniffing around. Still cute and sugary sweet, and still only REALLY good in very small doses. But I have a new perspective and some distance. And a renewed understanding of how men REALLY think, having been surfing the "Blogosphere" (I hate that word) recently. And listening to Z-100 this morning, where one guy came on the air and completely and freely admitted that men would have sex with a girl they are "freinds" with, if given half the chance. No matter who she is. No matter their own status in "committed" relationships.

Two weeks ago, after a half pitcher of Mojitos, I was telling the Prof and my Beautifulhaired friend that truly, women put FAR too much emphasis on the emotions behind sex. Now, some women are better at "emotionless fucking" (as one blogger wrote) than others. I don't happen to be one of those, though I have had my share. But I at least have to LIKE the person... and like him a lot, in order for there to be physical contact. Of any kind (unless it's because I've known the person forever, like the old acquaintance I mentioned earlier). Because otherwise, my skin crawls. Ew. There is so much weird shit that goes into sex that you really have to like the person. Or at least you have to like yourself enough to not just "do" anybody. But men... they can "do" anybody very easily. AND like themselves, still. I admire that, I really do.

(And just as an aside... it's ironic that men can have affairs and while it's talked about it's not a BIGBLACKMARK on their career... whereas women just can't--even if they can. Beautifulhaired's most recent boss--a semi-public-person--resigned a little bit ago in anticipation of a HUGE scandal that just broke the news. Seems she had an affair on her hubby.)

So what was proposed was "No relationship." Now since the Sugarcube happens to be a sweetheart (and young ie not quite as corrupted as other guys, though that will change with age, I'm sure) I pointed out bluntly that any interaction between people, especially sexual adults, is technically a "relationship," so what you're actually negotiating is the depth of the relationship. And he smartly agreed--which is one of the reasons I like him. He's at least fairly honest. For now. But as I said... it's cuz he's young.

Sigh. It could be done (pun intended). It could be done very easily. But unlike him I don't *need* non-committal sex. There are toys for that (good fancy ones with blinking lights and rotating beads and stuff). What I need is some kind of a friend/running buddy, which is precisely what most single men *don't* need. Somehow, their toys don't seem to work as well as ours, I gather. And they'd rather run with "Da Boyz" or watch porno than hang out with a chick they're having a non-committal relationship with. I mean, that's why it's non-committal, dammit.

Then of course, if there's that much thinking and talking between two people (such as the conversations I've had recently)... what's the big deal? He had said to me the other day "I know you're looking for a relationship, and I can't provide that." And I'd said "well, I AM looking for a relationship, but not with you". Which I'm not... for several important reasons. But he's awful cute. And I've probably already spent far too much time mulling it over and may have lost my shot at it anyway.

Ugh.

It's just I don't do "half-ass" real well, and to me, non-committal relationships are half-ass wastes of time. I'd rather put my time in reorganizing my workspace... or making shit for this craft fair that's coming up, or freelancing. Not that I'm doing ANY of those things...

...and he's just awful sugary. And I should think like a man and take some serious joy out of the fact that I, at 42, can actually elicit this kind of attention from someone young enough to be my child (but still be legal!). He did say though, that he knows I won't give him half the drama somebody his own age will. Which is quite true.

*sigh*.

Ugh.