Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Rant Of The Day...

Not to be a hater, but seriously, men suck.

(No, I didn't say *all* men... but the good ones got snatched up early, the rest of them are gay. I'm figuring out now that if they're single, there's a damn good reason. And a good portion of the ones who aren't single are playing around anyway.)

I think God knew what He was doing when he gave me a Sun, because if He hadna', by this point in my life I'd seriously hate them all, with the exception of my father. Poppy's the only one who doesn't routinely get on my nerves, but I think it's because a.) I look so much like him I'd have serious issues if I hated him and then still have to look in the mirror everyday and see his face on my body and b.) I'm not married to him. (Though I have told my mother that if I were her, I'd have divorced him *long* ago.)

It kind of sucks to have men annoy the shit out of you, when you're profoundly hetero. Actually, it really sucks. I probably wouldn't care so much if I'd been born gay or with lesbian tendencies because there'd be something tolerable to fill in the gaps, but despite having a few female freinds that I've loved deeply, the girl-on-girl sex thing isn't cutting it for me. No, you idiotic, lustful man, not even a little bit.

What annoys me about men is that they think they have the shit figured out, think they are running things, think that simply because they are men they rule the world. They think they are logical because they focus on one thing at a time. They are NOT logical. They merely focus on one thing at a time... *even* if it's the wrong, stupid thing. But usually, what they focus on is the penis.

I quickly realized with the birth of the Sun, that truly, it all comes down to the penis. It really does. All of life boils down to how it's going to affect the penis. Ever since the Sun found his penis at about a month old, he hasn't ever kept his hands off of it. When I was an IT manager, I worked with a bunch of boys who always ribbed me that I had to go home to the baby when they could go out and hang in strip bars. I told them I'd much rather go home and watch my boy play with his peepee, than go out with them and listen to them talk about playing with theirs. I shut them all down, cuz they knew I was right. (Incidentally, I did get to go with a bunch of boys to a strip bar. What a bunch of suckers. They all sat around contemplating how the girls were affecting the penis, and meantime, I've never seen a more bored bunch of chicks in my life. It was easy money for them. No wonder women strip.)

That Eve; if I could go back in time I'd kick her ass because she fucked it all up for the rest of us. If she had kept her big mouth shut and not told Adam what she found--kept it for herself, we'd still be running things, and we'd have the Snake on the side for entertainment purposes. And we would probably be able to live forever, too.

and yet... there's still that dratted need to be paired...

4 comments:

Ros said...

Would it be too easy to ask what SugarCubes has or hasn't done? :-D

And yes, of course most men suck. They're stupid linear thinkers who get stuck on one idea and can't get rid of it. And can take risks like jumping out of planes or riding their motorcycles 110 mph, but can't take emotional risks. But they're so good to fuck!

The Bear Maiden said...

BWA HA HA!

No, it's me expecting that life should be more than just a penis. But then again, I don't have one, so what the hell do I know???? (Pun intended.)

Ginger said...

I had a very vivid dream once in which I had a penis. It sucked big time. Always in the way...

And I swear I've dated a few women who thought they had a penis....

But yeah men do suck a great deal of the time. And I think I'm marrid to one of the good ones...

Ros said...

You're married to one of the great ones, from what I can tell. I keep thinking I could tolerate stupidity if I knew that he loved me, but I guess that's not gonna be enough, based on Ginger's experience. :-)

DS frequently says it's completely unfair that boy parts are on the outside and so vulnerable to pain & injury. So which would be more inconvenient to live with, big boobs or a penis? I was going to say I was envious of the peeing standing up thing, but the two males with whom I'm most intimately acquainted frequently sit, so I dunno.