So That I Can Tell The Tale In One Spot...
On my mom's list, one of my dear friends posted excitedly
> TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!
>
> I can't WAIT to hear all about all of it!!!!
>
> How are you doing today? Are you counting the hours yet?
>
> How was The Sun when you last spoke with him on the phone?
Well, friend, (and others) I was great till I got to work, checked my personal email and saw this:
"[The Sun] and I return to New York late Friday night and I am asking that you Please do not meet us at the airport because I do not want a big scene for him. He is not coming back from camp or a long voyage, he was with his father. I had him call you every day ( even times he didn't want to ) and had him call you back every time you called. I will have [The Sun] call you when we depart and when we land, then he will call you when we arrive on [The Rock]. Thank You."
Yes, I hyperventilated, started an email and called my lawyer who must have been in transit at that moment, then called ShoeFly to ask what she thought. Then I sent back the following:
"As was discussed in court, and agreed to, I will be at the gate when [The Sun] arrives.
[The Bear Maiden]"
Then I freak out a little, but luckily Lawyer calls me right back. She'd already put in a call to TF's lawyer (conveniently on location) and then called the "Emergency Number", and called the Law Guardian who's in court till lunch time. Don't worry, she said, just go to the gate. That's what was agreed to, between his lawyer, mine and the LG. I take a few deep breaths, assure my lawyer I won't respond to anything else from him, and will go on about my day.
I check email again, and there's this:
"Again I ask you for what's in [The Sun]'s best interest but again you do not what to hear it. Grow up"
The beauty in all of this is that he cc'd both my Lawyer and the LG (though not his own lawyer). Especially that last one. So either he thinks he's totally in the right, or he didn't mean to hit "reply all". I'm counting on the latter.
To back track:
The reason this is a big deal is based on History. Historically, I have spent *countless* hours waiting at home, and then later the 49th precinct and once in an emergency room, for him to bring back my kid from a visit. It got so bad at one point, that I set up a little log for police officers to sign, noting the time when my kid was finally brought back, and more importantly, how often he was late. And he was never more than hour late, because police won't do anything about tracking your kid down until it's more than an hour. Before we got to the OP stage, I'd wait up till 4 hours in my house, trying not to freak out especially when he'd stop answering the cell or yell "I'm on my way" when I'd get so concerned after two hours and no word. After the OP, he was consistently 20 minutes late. Sometimes 40. Once, 5o minutes late. Once or twice? I wouldn't have had a problem? But EVERY TIME? It got to be really upsetting, particularly when if I was even 5 minutes late for a drop off, TF would start ranting and raving.
The time at the ER, The Sun had called from his dad's cell, saying he'd been stung by a bee and his father was taking him to the ER. For a bee sting??? All he needed to do was to check for any allergic reactions (and they happen fast), call/ask me if he was allergic to bee stings (not so far) and tell me to watch for symptoms. But no, he took him to the ER. The one he was closest to, in the upper Bronx, was "too slow" and so right as my Neighbor (who so nicely drove me back and forth to pick ups/drop off for two years) and I turned into the street that the Hospital was on, the Sun calls me to tell me they were leaving the ER to go to another one in Bronxville (out of NYC across the city line).
(How is that logical?)
I ask The Sun to STAY PUT since we were right there, but he hung up, and when I got to the ER, the staff was calling The Sun's name but they were no where in sight. They had already left. The other ER they were on their way too was in Bronxville, which happens to be where Neighbor works.
We get there; TF is there with two of his softball buddies, and wouldn't allow the Sun to come over to see me. Mind you, it is a good 40 minutes PASSED the time where he should have handed over The Sun. Neighbor informs security of the situation, and they don't ask him to leave but they won't allow him in to see the Doctor when Sun (and now I) are called. I come out to find that TF has knocked a cell phone out of Neighbor's hand, and one of the Softball buddies got into an altercation with the Yonkers PD, who had been called.
Later, the police report only states "a custody dispute" and that there was "no incident".
So in court I had asked specifically to at least meet my Sun as he came off the plane because from experience, there is no guarantee that TF would bring back Sun when he said he would, ESPECIALLY SINCE this agreement isn't written.
These people keep underestimating him. I have said countless times that ANY order between he and I needs to be specifically written out, because the ONE THING you don't write down, is the ONE THING he's going to blow up.
So, as of now all I can do is take deep breaths, and hope that the LG, who firmly pushed for this visit, understands the above correspondence to be TF's way of trying to take Power in the situation. I know my Lawyer "gets it".
I told Lawyer that despite what TF said, he did NOT have the Sun call me "every day"; in fact, on Sunday I had to text TF to ask him to have The Sun call me. The rest of the week, I was usually the one to make the call, usually around 11 or 12 midnight NY time. And truthfully, I didn't call him all the time; didn't need to as I could "see" him and text him, just like I posted yesterday.
My current plan is to make no contact with the Sun, except maybe a text message or two. I will "watch" him to see that he gets to the plane (as of this moment he was still at homebase). I have the flight number, and then will monitor the progress of the plane. About an hour before they are scheduled to land, I will go to JFK, bringing ALL my papers, ask to be allowed to meet my (underaged) child at the gate and ask that they make sure to have security in the area. I don't want to be accompanied because that will rile up the situation. But if somebody starts yelling (him) I want them to appear.
In the meantime, my Lawyer said she will let me know if anything develops. And I pray really hard that nothing does... I just want my kid back. Nothing more.
> TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!! YOU DID IT!!!!!
>
> I can't WAIT to hear all about all of it!!!!
>
> How are you doing today? Are you counting the hours yet?
>
> How was The Sun when you last spoke with him on the phone?
Well, friend, (and others) I was great till I got to work, checked my personal email and saw this:
"[The Sun] and I return to New York late Friday night and I am asking that you Please do not meet us at the airport because I do not want a big scene for him. He is not coming back from camp or a long voyage, he was with his father. I had him call you every day ( even times he didn't want to ) and had him call you back every time you called. I will have [The Sun] call you when we depart and when we land, then he will call you when we arrive on [The Rock]. Thank You."
Yes, I hyperventilated, started an email and called my lawyer who must have been in transit at that moment, then called ShoeFly to ask what she thought. Then I sent back the following:
"As was discussed in court, and agreed to, I will be at the gate when [The Sun] arrives.
[The Bear Maiden]"
Then I freak out a little, but luckily Lawyer calls me right back. She'd already put in a call to TF's lawyer (conveniently on location) and then called the "Emergency Number", and called the Law Guardian who's in court till lunch time. Don't worry, she said, just go to the gate. That's what was agreed to, between his lawyer, mine and the LG. I take a few deep breaths, assure my lawyer I won't respond to anything else from him, and will go on about my day.
I check email again, and there's this:
"Again I ask you for what's in [The Sun]'s best interest but again you do not what to hear it. Grow up"
The beauty in all of this is that he cc'd both my Lawyer and the LG (though not his own lawyer). Especially that last one. So either he thinks he's totally in the right, or he didn't mean to hit "reply all". I'm counting on the latter.
To back track:
The reason this is a big deal is based on History. Historically, I have spent *countless* hours waiting at home, and then later the 49th precinct and once in an emergency room, for him to bring back my kid from a visit. It got so bad at one point, that I set up a little log for police officers to sign, noting the time when my kid was finally brought back, and more importantly, how often he was late. And he was never more than hour late, because police won't do anything about tracking your kid down until it's more than an hour. Before we got to the OP stage, I'd wait up till 4 hours in my house, trying not to freak out especially when he'd stop answering the cell or yell "I'm on my way" when I'd get so concerned after two hours and no word. After the OP, he was consistently 20 minutes late. Sometimes 40. Once, 5o minutes late. Once or twice? I wouldn't have had a problem? But EVERY TIME? It got to be really upsetting, particularly when if I was even 5 minutes late for a drop off, TF would start ranting and raving.
The time at the ER, The Sun had called from his dad's cell, saying he'd been stung by a bee and his father was taking him to the ER. For a bee sting??? All he needed to do was to check for any allergic reactions (and they happen fast), call/ask me if he was allergic to bee stings (not so far) and tell me to watch for symptoms. But no, he took him to the ER. The one he was closest to, in the upper Bronx, was "too slow" and so right as my Neighbor (who so nicely drove me back and forth to pick ups/drop off for two years) and I turned into the street that the Hospital was on, the Sun calls me to tell me they were leaving the ER to go to another one in Bronxville (out of NYC across the city line).
(How is that logical?)
I ask The Sun to STAY PUT since we were right there, but he hung up, and when I got to the ER, the staff was calling The Sun's name but they were no where in sight. They had already left. The other ER they were on their way too was in Bronxville, which happens to be where Neighbor works.
We get there; TF is there with two of his softball buddies, and wouldn't allow the Sun to come over to see me. Mind you, it is a good 40 minutes PASSED the time where he should have handed over The Sun. Neighbor informs security of the situation, and they don't ask him to leave but they won't allow him in to see the Doctor when Sun (and now I) are called. I come out to find that TF has knocked a cell phone out of Neighbor's hand, and one of the Softball buddies got into an altercation with the Yonkers PD, who had been called.
Later, the police report only states "a custody dispute" and that there was "no incident".
So in court I had asked specifically to at least meet my Sun as he came off the plane because from experience, there is no guarantee that TF would bring back Sun when he said he would, ESPECIALLY SINCE this agreement isn't written.
These people keep underestimating him. I have said countless times that ANY order between he and I needs to be specifically written out, because the ONE THING you don't write down, is the ONE THING he's going to blow up.
So, as of now all I can do is take deep breaths, and hope that the LG, who firmly pushed for this visit, understands the above correspondence to be TF's way of trying to take Power in the situation. I know my Lawyer "gets it".
I told Lawyer that despite what TF said, he did NOT have the Sun call me "every day"; in fact, on Sunday I had to text TF to ask him to have The Sun call me. The rest of the week, I was usually the one to make the call, usually around 11 or 12 midnight NY time. And truthfully, I didn't call him all the time; didn't need to as I could "see" him and text him, just like I posted yesterday.
My current plan is to make no contact with the Sun, except maybe a text message or two. I will "watch" him to see that he gets to the plane (as of this moment he was still at homebase). I have the flight number, and then will monitor the progress of the plane. About an hour before they are scheduled to land, I will go to JFK, bringing ALL my papers, ask to be allowed to meet my (underaged) child at the gate and ask that they make sure to have security in the area. I don't want to be accompanied because that will rile up the situation. But if somebody starts yelling (him) I want them to appear.
In the meantime, my Lawyer said she will let me know if anything develops. And I pray really hard that nothing does... I just want my kid back. Nothing more.
Comments
He never stops - does he??
So how is meeting someone at the gate a big scene??? Your (emphasis on YOUR!!) SUN has been away from you longer than ever in his life - I would call that a long voyage!!
I don't understand his rationale -
Hang in there - I will be thinking of you tonight - and looking forward to seeing your next post after he is HOME!HOME!HOME!!!
you know I want to come to the airport and beat blood out of him, but the good thing is he will make a scene and GET ARRESTED!!! who has the last laugh now FAT BASTARD!!!!
Yes, Mrs J :) I fully intend to get there early... and you KNOW I'll update you :)
Hugs, and power to you.