not to cry.
Today... not so good. I got my Sun up to school; Shoefly and the Moon and us traveled in to the city together. My little man is in 4th grade. Big, fuzzy boy...
I sat with Fatlady and OneHalf and some other PA folk, welcoming new parents to our school.
I came home afterwards, and worked for two hours on the logo project that I'm not enjoying so much.
I went back and got the kid. I managed, through all this, not to cry though I wanted to.
Brought my little one home and lost it... right there in front of him, sitting at the kitchen table. He was very sweet and grown and gave me hugs. I told him I'd be OK... but sometimes grownups get sad.
I guess maybe I'm starting to get a little angry, and that doesn't help. I'm still bewildered.
I really want for this to be over, for this feeling to go away. I feel like I have the flu or something--you know, when you're so annoyingly sick but there's nothing much you can do... antibiotics don't work on viruses. You just have to sleep and drink fluids and pray for relief.
I'm praying for relief.
I probably shouldn't even write all this, make this so public... but I started writing to keep me sane and I think it's still working...
fuck it. Everybody has bad days and bad times right? It's nothing new...