Still Processing...

the hard drive up in my head is flashing and whirring, spinning, trying to save all the little bits of data into their proper places. If you've ever "defragged" a hard drive (believe it or not, I used to be a computer tech support person) you'll know exactly what I mean. I could go into the explanation of what exactly that means... but I'm not a computer techie anymore and so the subject bores me.

So I'll write about it, but I'm not ready to, just yet.

But I was drained yesterday, like my encounters with Bronx Family Court and TF always leave me... drained. For instance, I wrote "directors" in my previous post... and I've no idea why I wrote that... Freudian slip? because what that should have read was "law guardians".

Which reminds me I have a serious rant coming about the Law Guardians in my case, all but one, really, and there have been four assigned to the Sun, though the first and last assignment were the same person. Sort of ironic, when you think about it. But I'm gonna consult Lawyer first, and find out what the legal repercussions could be about doing so. But I'm pissed. They are supposed to serve the best interest of the child, and in my opinion they let their personal issues and racial assumptions get in the way. But I'll deal with that later.

And a side note... it's sort of momentous that last night's garbled post was my 500th. Wow, I'm a tad loquacious, aren't I? Well, the voices are, anyway.

It's also ironic to me that like August 10th, when I finally won (sole) custody of my only child, I had to give him up immediately to his dad... and today, he's with his dad. I know he's OK... for one thing he feels OK in my head, but for another I can stalk him via GPS.

There were a bunch of things I thought about doing today... one was to go to the other dojo and work out... but I don't know the guys there that well, and there are mostly guys in that class and I wasn't up to it. So instead I practiced walking around/breaking in my new celebratory purchase: some linen/fabric hidden-platform peeptoe pumps. Very girly. Gonna be hell on my feet. I got them in Marshall's on 'Two-Five yesterday, spending my grocery budget. But the Sun is away for a few days and really all I should be eating anyhow is salad. I also bought some Anne Klein fuscia patent sandals and a pink leather bag. Shoefly has had a positive effect on me...

Speaking of Shoefly, she has restarted her blog, so I'm gonna post it on the sidebar there but for now you can begin following my freind. At the risk of opening you all up to her view of me... ha ha! But you will also see that she is completely insane, which is one of the reasons we get along so well.

I didn't get to post the other day (and I really meant to, but I was busy stressing) about an extremely important event... my babysister turned 40. Wow. I can still remember pushing around in her little bassinet, and watching Bigbear nurse her, and how long it took both of them to come home from the hospital.

But right now I'm going to go wash the mask off my face...

I miss my Peanutbutter... the only thing I don't like about him being with his dad is that when he's with anyone else, even if I don't talk to him specifically, I can ALWAYS call the person he's with 3 or 4 (or 5O times) to hear about what he's doing... and I can't do that here. Internet Stalking will have to do... right now he's in Hawthorne NY, somewhere... I think I he's at a movie theater up there... a little Google maps, a little "Wiki", a little stalking... what the hell. It's fun and something to do...


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