A Moment

...to breathe.

Haven't been too many, lately, and there probably won't be too many until after next Friday. Another court date. Can you believe it? This one is still for visitation. But TF is going to try to make it into something else.

I really wouldn't mind dealing with him if he were easy to deal with. But he's not... and I don't get why after six years the court keeps letting him prolong the process, and why, after six years, I still have to play nice. It's enough to bring out the bitch in me.

In a related/unrelated note, the workout thing is going pretty well. It's much easier for me to work out with Bigbrother Sensei because he's gentler. Littlebrother Sensei is much more critical, which I don't mind, but well... there's all that other stuff.

On Saturday, I was working with BigBrother on punching combos. He had me hit into focus pads... I'm slow, still... but boy can I focus. It's almost scary. I have no problem visualizing a fat, clefted chin, and punching the shit out of it. Apparently I still have a lot of resentment.

(ya THINK!?)

Mother's day was nice. The Bearwomen all piled into the Professor's Kia and went over to see Mima and her daughter, who gave birth. I'll have to post pictures later. Cute, cute baby. Big-ass baby... 9 lbs and some change. And "Indian" all over his face and down his hairy back. I asked Mima, looking at Baby if the Babydaddy had Indian... cuz I was surprised. Mima's daughter is half Dominican. But baby is Indian. Turns out Babydaddy's family has a LOT up in the mix, and know it.

Moodmagicbarbie had a definite moodswing, the Diva was dolled up in one of her outfits, TinyOne got a "powpow" from Mima for throwing around Elegua's toys, and only the Sun stayed quiet, lost in Nintendo-DS land. But it was fun anyhow. Oh, and of the many messages I got saying happy mother's day, a simple little phone call just made my day. Stupid, I know. But it meant a lot to be thought of. And then I got another phone call later in the day, about nothing in particular... it seemed a ruse for a conversation but maybe I'm just reading more into it. Probably, in fact.

I'm so concerned about my financial situation that I can't even think about it. The lack of Child Support is a HUGE problem. It annoys the shit out of me that I got a text recently (which I ignored) "Why didn't you tell me were you going to tell me about the Sun going to summercamp?"

I felt like writing back "Why didn't you tell me you were going to stop paying child support?"


Well, I have a meeting and some stuff to do, and maybe I'll spend $22 I don't have on getting my hair done... it always makes me feel better.


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