The Diva and TinyOne spent the night with the Professor last night, since the Diva has Family Court in the city today. So the Sun and I got some quiet time.
I should have taken him to karate yesterday but we went to IKEA instead with the Professor. It was rainy yesterday, and I wasn't in the mood for much of nothin', least of all the busride back to the Rock from Yonkers. Besides, something pissed me off.
At IKEA, I spent money I didn't have, but luckily not too much. But on stuff I needed... I NEED lights for my room. It's so dark in there. For years the darkness didn't bother me, but lately it's driving me nuts. I also bought a purple duvet cover, which my soul needs. I need something purple in that room; yes it's my favorite color but it tends to soothe me.
It's sunny today, which is a good thing because my mood needs it. I'm struggling. I'm tired of bitching about the same old things so I won't. When I first started this blog, I wrote a post about Surviving The Dark Days, and I read that post to remind myself to take my own damn advice. And I'm trying very hard, but I'm not a happy bitch right about now.
I'm not looking forward to New Years Eve this year. I don't feel I'm any further ahead this year than last year, and I should be. And despite the fact that I think I'm trying very hard, I guess I'm not cuz nothing's changing. I'm also really sick of spending it as a single person. Not that I don't love my family because I do. With every fibre of my being. But it suddenly occurred to me the other day that it's been YEARS since I actually spent New Years with anyone other than them. Or without drama. And that never bothered me before.... "you can't miss what you can't measure". But now I can measure it, and it's pissing me off. But that's all I'm going to bitch about today because it's a nice day and I promised the Sun we'd do our annual (actually semi-annual) trip to Times Square.
We usually take the Moon on our trip, but I'm attempting to get my kid to karate afterwards, and the Moon's dad had "too much stuff to do" to meet us anywhere, and they all have some weird mindset against the martial arts so the Moon doesn't come with us often to karate (but if anybody needs it, it's him). So it'll just be me and the Sun, which is probably a good thing...
And then the Storm descends on us again this evening. The Professor at first was saying "well, I'm sure she'll probably be with me all weekend" and I said, "well unless you want to fall back into the same pattern only with less bedrooms, I suggest that you put her ass in your car and dump her at my house. As stressful as it is for me, you set this up and YOU better follow through with it". Can you say "enabler"?
Pray for me, if you care about me. Thanks.