Good Lord

Nuthin like a little gossip. Funny when it's about you.

It's also funny to hear people's reactions to things. Apparently the rumor of the Date's and my hanging out together and subsequent playdate (and uh, I guess the constant text-messaging) exploded at his workplace, poor thing. He was out with co-workers the night before, sending me text-messages and someone leaned over and saw that he was messaging me... and then it escalated. They teased him brutally. I had told him do a Bill Clinton and denydenydeny, since technically nothing has happened.

The day after, when I saw him we sat talking and he said that one of the things that was said was along the lines of "what is she doing?", as if I were insane to want to go out with him.

I told him well, I guess people don't understand that I'm more "uptown" than I act, apparently. The thing is he's from a neighborhood very close to mine and a time period not too far from my own, and I think it's one of the things that's comfortable about him to me.

The other thing I jokingly told him was that maybe folks were just jealous... that some people thought he was hot. I told him I didn't particularly think so, but that I liked him and that he was cool to hang out with.

I felt a little pang though... it didn't seem to bother him too much but things like this make you wonder... why some people getting together is scandalous.

I dunno. I guess it doesn't bother me too much for myself since I once had a torrid affair with my married boss who had four children and a psychotic wife. And I had TF. And the only person I actively sought to keep this from was TF (and I guess the psychotic wife), mainly because I was afraid he'd beat the hell out of me even though we weren't really together. So this is sort of tame in comparison, as far as scandalous behaviour goes. I've done worse. But I worry for him... will it make a difference? Will he care? Will it create pressure and impact a growing friendship?

It didn't seem to, at least for the moment. He sat beside me and had me listen to an awfully mushy LeVert song, which just tickled me (I told him I usually avoided music like that)... and then we talked about some other stuff which I'll only reveal should it actually happen.

Life is odd sometimes. At the beginning of the month my heart was breaking over a HopelessToBeHad, and now... I guess I could say there is an interesting feeling of waiting... to see what happens, to see how I'll feel in a few days, whether this will all evaporate.

But for the moment it's pretty cool.

Comments

levert be jamming
didnt know u were the gossipy type lol
Fat Lady said…
Darling, I don't mean to be harsh, but I think you know that people would wonder what you see in him not because they're jealous nor because they think your personalities are too divergent. It may have a little something to do with 1. how you know each other and all the complications that come with that, and 2. the fact that he doesn't come across to anyone as the settled down type and most people would assume that a single mother doesn't really want to bring someone unsettled and potentially disruptive into her and her child's life.

Like I said, I hope that you all turn out to be the true version of the urban legend - like SATC's Miranda & Steve - and 10 years from now everyone will be wondering why they thought it was so strange when you all are such a great couple.
The Bear Maiden said…
Mr, T, not I. I only speak what I know about :) I just know a lot :).

And Fat Lady, to be perfectly harsh, I suspect it has more to do with class and perceived social status than much of anything else. Why? Cuz I didn't fuck him. If I had, and took greater pains to keep it under wraps and it was found out, I think that it would have been mildly tittered about by people who knew or suspected, and I don't think it would cause as big a stir as my willingness to acknowledge publicly that we hung out. If it were merely perceived as a secret fling I don't think anyone would really care other than having something to talk about. But people make assumptions of people based on what they choose to see about them, rather than really observing or asking questions and drawing a reasonably informed conclusion.

Any hanging out that we've done or will do will be far away from my kid unless something solid develops. For him to come over with his kid and another is perfectly acceptable, I think, and the only reason that may have raised eyebrows is because people know we were talking.

It's why I said what I did to him, to make him laugh and make light of the comment, because the feeling that I got was that it was one of those statements that made him go "wha?"... kind of like those statements that go "You don't really act 'Black', you know..."

Cuz to be perfectly honest, and to pretty much out myself, there's a big difference in "staff" at his workplace... between paras and teachers which is why there was that big brouhaha in the stairwell that day. I think the Date has status for one reason only... cuz generally his class doesn't all hang out at "staff" functions, if you'll notice. Which is why I'm so annoyed at the whole thing.

I don't do anything halfway. And I always have an agenda. I drink to get tanked, I fall in love wholeheartedly (once I allow myself to fall) and when I'm brokenhearted I don't eat or sleep and am perfectly miserable. And then I get over it. I followed Nene cuz I was in love with him. My kid gets shuttled to his various activities cuz one or both of them will pay for college. And now I take karate cuz I want to know if a 43-44 year old woman can survive a two-minute bout of continuous contact. And I'm going out wholeheartedly with the guy cuz I like him, because he feels like home--like Uncly, like he guys I grew up with and watched play ball in the park but at the moment, I'm not sure that he fits my agenda. Cuz believe me, I have one. And I told him up front it's an all-or-nothing deal.

Whether or not something'll come of it, depends on him cuz I know what I'm looking for. And I know the beast I'm dealing with cuz he pretty much told me... and I'm alright with it for now. Cuz we're merely freinds... seriously flirtatious friends, but friends.

I profoundly don't believe in "happy-ever-after" endings which is one of the reasons why I hate shows like SATC. In real life, I think people make partnerships based on need and love only has so much to do with it... so if our needs mesh it'll work, and if they don't, well, there's still Nene...

And if I'm touchy about the whole thing it's because EVERYBODY has seen fit to weigh in on this one, compared to Nene. My father even called me to tell me that I better not run off and get married without him first meeting him. WTF???

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