And Then.... (pt 2)

Saturday morning I guiltily snuck off the Rock with him without telling Shoefly and went to the Sun's school to help set up for the fair. But then I had to go... it was getting late and I had to pick up salad stuff for the food that accompanies ourdojo's promotion ceremony, get the Sun and get to Yonkers. And I was starting to stress because I was already late, and the Date texted me and asked me if I needed a ride back.

Who does that?

So I said yes, and he drove me home (after first having to get his keys back from PracticalMama, who again merely smiled at me and was instructed to not "see" anyone in the car aside from him), and then drove me down the block to the local supermarket so I could get the salad stuff.

And that was the first kiss. Which I joked that had it happened say the night before, well... the danger level would have been Defcon 5.

The belt test was run pretty smoothly, and my little Sun is now a "new man"-- a green belt. He was so proud, and had a renewed interest in karate. He isLittleSensei's first greenbelt student. It's quite an accomplishment for both of them. Shihan's teacher was there, Master Tommy Chen, and the kids were in awe, honored that he was there. We all were.

The Professor and Bigbear got there just in time to see the Sun put on his new belt...we ate a little and the Professor drove us home.

And then today... I got up and managed to do most of the laundry and clean most of the floors in my apartment, and through the day had a long text conversation which resulted in the Date arranging to bring his son and another boy the kids know up to the Rock for a "Playdate". I told him I'd make "boy food"; chicken nuggets and Tater Tots, but said they would have to eat salad to compensate. When they got here the Date's kid and the other boy got upstairs and in the time it took me to lock the downstairs door, come up one flight of stairs and take my shoes off, both boys had sprawled out on the sofa like they belonged there, and the Sun had taken oversomeones PSP.

The Moon at first didn't want to come over, but then he did (feeling grown cuz he's now allowed to walk here by himself) and then I had four boys; a 1st grader, a 2nd grader, a 3d grader and a 4th grader... fighting each other like puppies, running through the house hitting each other with loud swords, fighting over the game controls. And then we all ateboyfood and walked down the block to the beach, where the boys threw rocks at the sea. The Date and I sat on the steps and watched them.

And for me... it's been the perfect weekend. The sex can wait... it's not that I don't enjoy that cuz I do... but days like this are what I miss.

This weekend I got to see Nene... and I even got a phone call from him Saturday night at like 12:30 in the morning... the littleboy will always have my heart but I think I'm done. And I think he knows it... And I know he won't be with his babymamma for long and if came to me in the next few days and told me he'd changed his mind... it would give me pause. But I know he's not strong enough to claim me, and I've stopped crying and to me that's a pretty clear indication that I'm done.

Cuz the date... I dunno. He's not my type, though folks seem to think he's hot. And he's a little more 'hood than Shoefly would approve of for me, and a little younger than most people would want for me (though he's not as young as Nene) but I've been coming to my own conclusions about what I needed in a person.

Lovebabz had this list going; the things she wanted in a love. And I've read most of her posts with great interest, and while I hadn't gotten around to making my own list, over the last year, while being in love with a Hopeless To Be Had I had figured out that:
  • while I have dated across the Divide, the bottom line is I need someone who's a little bit "hood"... a little gangsta. Not a lot... generally I'm not into the ThugLife but they need to be comfortable driving or walking through the rougher parts of the City, because I am... And I'm only 5'3" and in no way should I have to feel protective of a man. This precludes most men of Euro descent...cuz while I'll date anybody who's nice to me, men of Euro descent don't know 'hood etiquette and so won't ever fit in and are always just a tad uncomfortable. At leas the ones I've dealt with.
  • while I'm no fan of gymrats there's got to be some form of athleticism... I don't need "buff" but there needs to be some core strength.
  • any man I'm involved with has to be good with little kids. Loving but firm, able to curtail rambunctious child (especially boychild) behaviour without being macho or mean.
  • a man has to be compassionate.
  • he has to be passionate about what he does.
  • he's got to be laid back... I am not a "type A" personality but I tend to be stressed... and the men around me have got to be able to chill me out with out being condescending or domineering.
  • he's got to be willing to pitch in and help me if I need it, and not be resentful if I don't need it.
  • he's got to make me laugh.
  • he has to like to cuddle.
  • he can't be possessive of me.
  • he has to love a good RoadTrip; be able to travel easily without a lot of huffin' and puffin' and be comfortable in unfamiliar surroundings.
And who knew, but so far, the Date possesses all those qualities.

But, it's been my experience that they start out like gangbusters and then cool off... or get psycho. And so I feel like I'm holding my breath...

(ah the corniness can't be helped---wait for it....)

.....waiting to exhale. (*groan*)

Comments

professor said…
live each day as if it's your last...enjoy each day and date...you had a beautiful weekend...don't tarnish it with the crash and burn ending...exhale or you will turn blue...
you might look up and it's fourteen years later (with the daughter that's coming...lol)...
BigBear said…
so now i know THE REST OF THE STORY AND A LOVELY STORY IT IS. Ok, it always comes out of left field and it's never the one you pick, but as MizClarke said, the Lawd never make a mis-take. Enjoy Girly, no structures, just go with the flow, let the river take you. I sent this before but being an idiot I didn't get it right so now you'll get it, my profond thought on the subject of Looovvveee. It finds you when you least expect it
green belt
congrats
in a month he will be 7 dan
The Bear Maiden said…
Good Lord. Now the world knows why I jump in with four feet; it runs in the family.

Hey, Mr. T... thank you. It's a big big deal and I'll have to put up some pictures in a minute. He's gotta stop crying in the ring though :)...
Fat Lady said…
Well, first I was worried because you weren't allowing yourself to be open to the possibilities. Now I'm worried because EVERYONE knows your business and if it doesn't work out everyone will have something to say about it.

I hope you know what you're doing. And I hope that 10 years from now I'll be saying, "I don't know what I was so worried about. They're the tightest couple I know."
The Bear Maiden said…
Well, nothing technically has happened...so folks may snicker but for stuff like this... I do what I do and don't much care what people think. Particularly when nothing serious has happened. I can make my world pretty small.

Plus, I kinda like him.

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