But some stand out for various reasons:
- My 7th, because I had a party. Probably my first. I was attending Faye Simpson School on Hope Road in Kingston, and my classmates all came. Someone had sent me a card in the shape of a number 7 (my grandmother, I think), and I remember wearing it pinned to my dress. We ran all over the front yard and ate cake.
- My 9th birthday(pretty sure, or my 10th).... we'd just gotten evicted from our house on Montgomery Ave. I don't actually remember much, other than blowing out candles on a cake and knowing that it was special, since everything else was up in the air.
- My 12th birthday. We were broke as hell, and everything was rationed out and shared. All I wanted for my birthday was a jar of peanut butter that I didn't have to share. And I got it. And I didn't have to share.
- My 16th. I had a party that like 3 girls and 10 boys came to. Not really one of my favorite birthday's... but it was fun anyhow.
- My 18th. I was legal. I got red leather pixie boots and had on a red blouse. I felt really special.
- My 19th... I and some of my friends went to a club (legally), drank (legally) and saw Evelyn Champagne King sing "To Be Real". Bigbear had made me a dress--pink and grey--that I had designed.
- My 21st. Was dating a guy from High School everyone had thought was hot. We went out somewhere, all dressed up. I wore a fedora. Had a great time.
- My 3oth. I was still a vodka girl then. I had vodka martinis and lemon drop shots. I had just moved to the Rock the summer previously. I had great new friends and got completely trashed. For free.
- My 32nd. Only because I had a bunch of friends coming to meet me at the same local hot drinking spot mentioned above. And SD, who I had just begun to date, had called me at 7A that morning not to say "Happy Birthday" but to say we shouldn't see each other anymore. And he bounced the door at that spot that same night. I got trashed. My friend BeautifulHair carried me out when I started crying. SD came over the next morning and apologized and we made up. And the rest is history. It was like that for years.
- My 44th. Just now. It started out unexpectedly good. I don't even want to say why. I think I want to hold onto it for a little while, before fear and doubt set in. But I've been trying to take deep breaths all day... beating back the little voices that remind me that things aren't always what they seem, that shit happens, things wander, go astray. That people do strange things for stranger reasons. I try to just enjoy the moment I'm in and not dwell on it too long once it's gone, or worry about the next moment. I will never repeat August. But...
I got what seemed like a million Facebook messages from friends. I wish I could save the page, but on the other hand, it's sort of apropos. Nothing stays the same; moments are moments and they pass... you retain the memory of them, the warmth, the glow... but they pass.
This weekend, a friend of mine from High School, he of WBAI radio and the Underground Railroad fame, is hosting a party out in Brooklyn. He let me tag my birthday celebration onto it. Well, the "after-pole-dancing-class" celebration part. I'm really excited. I'm hoping more than three girls and 10 boys show up... At least I know my blog sisters Green Tea Ginger and the Skinny Girl will be there, which is cool. Cuz I've never met Ms. Ginger face to face. But if any of you all out there in blogland wanna come... come on down to Black Betty in Williamsburg. It's gonna be slammin'...
Last but not least... the Fabulous and I are working on a Master Plan. Well, we've been working, but the vision is starting to clear. And, in doing so... one thing led to another and I made very small start working on a idea I've had for a while... illustrating the creation story. Here's my first beginnings of it: