Saturday, February 21, 2009

My Life is Bi-Polar

No, not me. I have narcissistic tendencies and pull to the darkside. But I think I'm pretty much even tempered. I have to be. Because my life is bi-polar.

There'll be that high from the sweetest moment ever, and in a day or two it's black as hell. The birthday was great, I coasted all day. But Thursday I detected something gathering and by Friday I'm fairly certain I know where this is going. Nowhere. Same old bullshit.

And on top of that I got a call from G-Man at 6:30p yesterday. I'd been out with the Professor and MMB buying glittery accessories and getting my hair flippy for today. I could tell by his voice something was majorly wrong. It was. Apparently a pipe burst in the club I was to gather my friends in, and the place was flooded. Shut down. For at least 3 days.

I guess he expected me to freak out... my friend. Who by the way, being a frat guy understands the concept of "Ride or Die". My grandfather was a fratman. And I don't think there's any more "ride or die" than a black fraternity. But I digress.

I told him well... when it's this big there's no point freaking out. There's no point crying. You have to start thinking of options. Cancelling wasn't an option. Neither was rescheduling. I got some ride or die folk coming in from as far as away as Minneapolis, and I had to find a spot to hang out in. Preferably with dancing. And mandatory that there was no cover, since my fellow pole-dancers are shelling out $40. And times are tight.

So we decided on Moca Lounge, in Harlem, which has a pretty good reputation for Harlem and no cover. I've never been. And I'm also leery of straight up "black" clubs cuz I love a wide variety of music. But... Moca it is. So if you're following my saga from somewhere in blogworld and care to come hang out with me, check out Moca Lounge at 2210 Frederick Douglass Blvd. I'll be the glittery one.

As for the rest... I at least know now why BeautifulHair was mad at me. I always say that however people feel about something is how they feel. You can't validate or invalidate how someone else is feeling. But the reasons behind it? I dunno. She seems to be saying that something snapped because I'd missed her birthday. Sent her a card a day late, saying that I was sorry I'd missed it. I had. What I hadn't told her was I was busy avoiding medication. Her birthday is in September, and in September I was better than I was in August... but I wasn't all better. And not for nothing but her being mad at me brings up all kinds of questions about "benefit of the doubt" and "reasonable expectations" and "understanding friends" and I obviously don't fit into that category for her. And maybe I deserve it. But you know, narcissistic tendencies be damned... I don't think I deserve it.

But whatever.

On top of floods happening in both party locations, no money, no job, and disappearing acts I really wonder at myself... how likable a person I really am and if maybe Karma is out to get me?

Pass the tequila. It's gonna be a long night.

I should be writing about more important things, too. Rihanna... and the Chris Brown Statement. That chimp/NY post thing. But it's still swirling and it's easier for me to free-form spew rather than write coherently. Besides... JaySmooth spoke on the chimp thing better than I can at the moment:


4 comments:

Lovebabz said...

Happy Birthday!

I would have lLOVED to throw a few back with YOU!

I am feeling you...not my life feeling bi-polar. But there is too much swirling and let those that can speak on it...let em'

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i have an adversion for any personbipolar lol

Ginger As in Green Tea... said...

Hey girlfriend, I LOVE YOU! And now it's real because I have seen in the flesh. And I freakin' love your family too. I want Tika as my sister.

HUGS. And you need to come to Charlotte in August or maybe I'll drag my friends to NYC for some pole dancing:P

Sista GP said...

Happy Belated Birthday! sorry I missed it. I haven't been blogging much lately.