The online world is an interesting one. Many of us oldskoolers were around back in the days of BBS's and Compuserv... back when there were no pictures or "profiles" and you had to type everything. And the very early days of AOL. Then Groups. There was such a thing as "netiquette" back then. We were careful not to "flame" each other.
I've been alone for so long that a constant in my life has always been the online world. I haven't quite gotten around to Twitter only cuz really... I can only obsess on one thing at a time, and when I'm obsessed I'm consumed. And I haven't gotten into the virtual reality role-playing places either, like SecondLife just cuz I don't need to. I peeked... it was hellafun but a drug I knew to leave alone.
I'd played with MySpace but it's clunky compared to Crackbook. Part of Crackbook's appeal is the lack of anonymity. It's also part of what's scary about it. I can see that some people are guarded with themselves, and many more people "limit" their profiles since they are actually using their true identities. But some of the "games" that were played on MySpace are played on Crackbook, and the one game I hate is the stalkerchick game.
You know... "I'm not really with this guy but I'm keeping him in pocket... so let me add all his female friends as my friends."
The other aspect to that game is "Let me post a bunch of shit to his page/profile to let everyone know I got dibs."
On MySpace it goes a step further where they change their profile names to actually reflect things like that... such as "I'm His Queen So Haters Step Off" or "Call Me Masturbation Cuz I'm Feelin' Myself" or "I am THAT bitch" or some such nonsense.
I know you can choose not to "add" someone as a friend... but that's part of the game. Cuz if you don't accept the request the chick that requested you will doubly suspect you. Sometimes you add the bitch so you can watch her, too. Sometimes you add her cuz you know she just outed herself.
The other part is deleting people. It's always interesting to see who gets deleted as a friend. Some people get deleted over and over. Nene stopped adding me back after awhile. My friend. Have I mentioned that as friends go, I value him more and more? I doubt I'll ever fool around with him again... I don't even think I'm that attracted to him now but having gone through all that and still liking him as a person has taken the freindship to an interesting depth.
Anyway...I play a little bit... it's too tempting not to. Especially cuz I'm single. But on the other hand I'm 43 and real life dating games annoy the fuck out of me... and the online games piss me off even more. Every so often I have to post something specifically calculated to let folks know I'm on to them. It pisses me off to stoop to that level, but fuck it. I have no life. It's another one of those things that amuses me yet pisses me off at the same time.
And speaking of real life dating games. Last year or so I'd lamented how very much I hated dating and that I didn't want to do it. This year I dabbled with horrendous results. At the verge of 2009 I'm not sure where I stand. I'm too old for this shit... but on the other hand I'm tired of being alone, so I guess I kind of have to. Cuz I'm still on my ride-or-die mission but having gotten a taste of what's there I'm more annoyed than ever. And it's not like I haven't met people this year... I have actually. Some I don't even mention cuz one look is all it took. But I'm no good at the game, I know that much. Cuz I just hate the game. I'm still an all-or-nothing chick. And after all the bullshit this year I'm more all-or-nothing than ever before. I think this year the trick will be to give nothing for a much longer period of time.
But it's hellafun to watch other people's dating dances. One dance in particular has amused me because for whatever reason one of the participants is very open about shit... and gives me intimate details. And I do mean intimate... definitely not for the faint of heart. Definitely in the "TMI" category. But I listen, and I observe, and it all goes into the little databank of a brain I have. You never know when intimate details of one situation will go to help you understand another situation.
Tonight I got a phone call with an update on the dance... Participant "A" had called Participant "B" because they wanted to discuss something. The L Word. Seems Participant "B" had let fly with a phrase containing that word because said participant was piss-ass drunk. Now weeks later Participant "A" wanted to make sure that while the phrase was acknowledged, Participant "A" didn't want to hurt "B". "A" wanted to make sure that "B" knew the feeling wasn't mutual. They didn't "♥" "B". They loved "B" as a person. They even "adored" "B". But they didn't "♥" "B".
"OK...." said "B". "B" then asked "A" if "A" was sleeping around.
"Oh," said "B", relieved. "B" had actually expected "A" to say that they were. "B" said they didn't really care whether "A" "♥"ed them or not. "B" was more concerned with the double-dipping.
Then somehow the conversation changed to the use of um, prosthetics, because "A" wanted to come over and "watch a movie" but "B" wasn't feeling up to snuff and didn't want to. And "A" made some snide reference to the use of prosthetics... and was seemingly upset at the prospect.
Which amused the hell out of "B"... particularly since "B" isn't "♥ed", merely "adored". And "A" was jealous of a prosthetic.
I laughed my ass off.
But again I'm annoyed. Who has time for that shit??? What the hell is wrong with loving somebody, and saying it? Bigbear says Poppy told her that... that he didn't love her. She said "That's OK, I love you enough for the both of us." But that just doesn't fly these days...
Skype is a wonderful thing. An amazing thing. Who would have EVER imagined it... back in the days of dial-up and Compuserv???? A free video conference. I remember back in my working days when one of my offices got video conferencing. What a big deal. Cost money. Now you just download Skype from the Internet, hook up a webcam and for FREE, goddammit--FREE--you can talk to anyone anywhere in the world. In real time.
We started using Skype a few weeks ago so the Sun could talk to his dad. And this week, cuz the Sun is in Cali I used it to talk to him. Ugh. I miss him terribly. It has put my whole world in a tailspin but mostly I try not to think about him. His face. His frizzy hair. His ginormous eyes. So tonight on Skype I got to see him... frizzy hair, big teeth and ginormous eyes. The room was kind of dark (SD always had a thing about conserving energy and turning off all the goddamn lights) so really the main light in the room was the soft blue glow from the computer monitor. My kid's eyes looked even bigger than normal in that light. My Peanutbutter. The first time I laid eyes on him I remember his huge eyes staring right back at me. He comes home Friday... I can't wait. But in the meantime thank God for the Internet. And for Skype.
Last night I attended a Virtual Dance Party. A High School friend of mine was co-hosting an all-night House/Dance music fest on WBAI. Jay Smooth of Illdoctrine fame was running a live video feed from his HipHop Music site. Two of my highschool friends were online on Crackbook, joking back and forth with each other and our friend the DJ. At one point one of the HS friends even texted me on my phone.
I was online for most of it. The music was pumping. The video feed had a "chat" feature, and a bunch of us losers/dateless/no-life-having motherfuckers (or maybe that was just me plus some other folk who just happened to not have anything to do that night) stayed on almost all night... chatting with each other, watching the real life people in the station spin records and drink beer. Finally at about 2A enough people at the station were tipsy enough to get up and start dancing. It was vastly entertaining. A desk at the station was streaming MMA fights, so not only could the feedwatchers watch real life, we could also watch the MMA fights and comment on them, too. The Ultimate in Loserdom. Yeah, that's right. I have no life. But I have one hell of a virtual life.
Kinda reminds me of the deeper concept behind "Wall•E". Really, we're not all that far from that....