So the days are getting better though I'm still broke. Thank God for Caller ID... I can dodge my bill collectors although the Student Loan people recently took to calling neighbors out of the phone book. But what can I do. I'll deal with it when I can.

In the meantime, I went down Saturday to hang out with Poppy and the Peeps on Poppy's birthday. He turned 71. Around this time 10 years ago he was really sick and about to find out he had bladder cancer. And that his kidneys were failing. And that while he was pretty healthy he was one sick Poppy.

I was pregnant with the Sun and fighting with SD all the time, and I remember just not being able to deal with the thought of Poppy not being around. I think I gave up being a grown up right then... relinquished the reins of responsibility to the Professor, who wasn't quite a professor yet; she was just finishing up one of her degrees. I was still working as a techie... at Morgan Stanley in the World Trade Center.

I've been a kid ever since, growing up all over again with my Sun. Poppy recovered... he had some scares but he made it, and has been on dialysis for about the past 9.5 years. Not bad for an old dude.

He feels old now... and he doesn't like it at all. I more feel for him not liking it than I do feel bad watching him get old, because to me, he's still Poppy. Every so often I realize he's not 38 (his turning 38 is stuck in my head because we were in Bull Bay, Jamaica then, and since there was no money sis and I would make presents. That year we made him a "birthday hat" with 38 on it.). He walks slower than he used to... I remember saying "Papa, slow down!" and now he says it to me... but his spirit and humor are still the same and that's enough for me. Besides, I refuse to think of anything else...

But it was nice to go sit with him; life gets busy as you get older and when his birthday is on a weekday it's hard to stay down there and so I feel I've missed a few birthdays even though I always talk to him on the phone (and it's not like I don't see him a couple times a month at the bare minimum). The only one missing was the Sun, since he was with his dah.

MMB and the Diva asked him what he did for fun when he was young, since there was no TV or computers back then, and we sat and listened as he told us what the Bronx was like in the '40's... it's strange to think that 60 years ago there wasn't much to the Bronx... he said there were farmers out near where I live now. Funny.

We ate Popyeye's fried chicken (eh) and had cupcakes. We didn't have birthday candles so Bigbear lit a regular candle (really cuz TinyOne insisted we turn out the lights) and sang "Happy Birthday".

I called the Sun so that he could talk to Poppy. ("Ma, we're going to wash my hair when I come home Sunday, right?" "Huh? You just went to the salon... it doesn't need to be washed". "But we're going to wash it, right? As soon as I come home?" And then it dawned on me that the kid was essentially telling me that so his father wouldn't feel compelled to wash his hair. Smart kid. Later when I asked him about it he only smiled and said nothing.)

The Professor drove me home... she was hoping that TinyOne would fall asleep in the car, but his bright eyes stayed awake the whole way out to the Rock, and the whole way back... watching her drive, keeping watch on cars for her. That's his Muma... his Ride or Die. Funny baby.

Happy Birthday, Poppy. We love you with all our pinchie hearts...


Jacqueline said…
how do you do it? how do you manage to post and write words that bring tears to my eyes? Your words are so deep and full of meaning and clarity... I can see through your eyes with your words... such talent. Such creativity. Just beautiful.
Nina said…
Awww, what a nice passage to write for your Poppy. He's still lookin' good, I have to say.

Happy Birthday, Poppy!!
The Bear Maiden said…
Aw, Jacqui, thanks :) *blush.

And Nina, yeah, he looks pretty good. Love my Poppy :)
french decor said…
got the same question, how do you do it? it bring tears to my eyes :(

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