Monday, September 14, 2009

Too much, too much

and not enough.

Having one of those times when there's too much going on and not enough time to write.

Some good, some interesting, some sad...

I'm back to thinking there's very few people in the world I can actually tolerate. Much like I'm sure there are very few people in the world who can tolerate me. And so I should value the ones that do. And let the rest of them kiss my ass.

But the end result of the week is that for now, I'm going to declare myself as being in a relationship. The BigMan is slowly getting under my skin. I am not consumed by him... and that worries me a great deal. Me unconsumed is not really a good thing. But he's kind, and he makes me belly-laugh and he's not phased by my quiet side or my spicy side or the weird stuff. The GayBFF has grown on me too... and my last reservation about them was that in my gut I don't think she's genetically gay. She's circumstantially gay with a ticking biological clock, and that could be a problem... but when I brought up my feeling with the BigMan he felt the same way about her. But assured me he wanted to be with me and not her. And I believe him, for various reasons.

And she has backed up a little... and is always very nice with me. So I'm good for now.

Some other stuff happened this week too, and it's a good thing I have this personal philosophy that I give things 24 hours before I react to them. If I wake up the next day and still feel the same way about a thing, then I know it's something I need to think about. If I'm still stewing about it a week later, then it's a much bigger deal than I thought. Usually when things have stewed a week or two is when I feel compelled to write lengthy emails, but in this case I don't think it would serve a purpose, nor would it be accepted in the nature given. So I'm gonna let it go.

But a week later and I'm still stewing but the end result was that I made a decision about something I needed to. Not a huge life-altering decision--at least not yet--but it will affect my art a little bit. It gave me a focus. It defined my perspective for now.

The Sun started school, SD is still amazingly calm, Poppy's much much better, the Parents are probably definitetly moving, the Professor--who also caused me to stew about a thing for about a week--seems to be finding a center and is trying to look on the positive side of life which is good. MMB is her usual beautiful self, the Diva seems to be making a life, PerpetualMotion is adjusting to school (well, barely) and the Sun's shoulders are broadening. And a HS Peep bought a piece from me...

I dreamed about the Cricket and need to reach out to him; I dreamed about Nene and he called that same day but I owe him something and can't call him back till it's finished.

If I had more money, life would be a breeze...

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