Blogging Is So "Out"....

Facebook and Twitter are so "in".

Spend way too much time on Crackbook cuz it's immediate... but I miss the anonymity of spewing...

As usual and always there is so much spinning around in my head. Or maybe that's it... the voices had been reasonably quiet and so Crackbook was easy. But the voices are screaming again.

So much they want to say...

...about being fucking broke
...about trying to make a way out of no way
...about slowly, slowly drowning in quicksand
...about trying to be upbeat and grateful for what you do have
...about being aware of the suffering of others
...about being continually disappointed at how people fall when you need them the most
...about being lonely
...about knowing there will never again be the smell of a new baby
...about watching people age
...about watching yourself age

...but there's not enough time, not enough hours, not enough energy to delve right now.

Crackbook is much easier cuz it's superfcial. And it's easy to put pictures up.

But I think the voices are demanding I come back and write.

Though I'm tired of complaining about the same old shit, things I've tried to change but it doesn't seem to be working. I seem to be in the same place I was a year ago... two years ago...

I'm tired yet too tired to sleep.

There's gotta be a better way...


Lovebabz said…
Keep writing. Use your blog as our therapy couch. So what if you feel like youa re stuck. Ibet you aren' just seems that way. Change is often slow and deliberate. I know for a fact I am so different than when I started my blog...hell I've even changed the look of it.

We all feel just as you do. But keep going...keep at it. Look for the joy...focus on the joys.
The Bear Maiden said…
Thanks, sister. I guess I have changed from two years ago when I started... my dreams have been defined, for one thing. All the more painful to see that they won't come true...
I miss your blogging for sure. I've realized that I miss blogging as well. Crackbook is a time sucker for sure.


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