...like that feeling of being heard. You can't beat that. I'd written Nene a note saying he hurt my feelings. He asked me why... I told him when he had the time I'd explain it--that I wasn't being "shady" or manipulative, wasn't holding a grudge, it's just I thought it was better said than written. Plus, I don't think he reads that well. (Our schools are failing not just "black" kids. But I digress.)
So he called, and I told him, as simply and as to the point as I could, why. He knew I called him on it; he knew I was right.
And that was it. That's all it took. He told me he was sorry that he didn't feel exactly as I do (though he was careful to say that yes, there are feelings) and that he thought I deserved better than that. He asked if I knew what he was saying... I wasn't. What exactly ARE you saying? Waiting for that "I don't think we should see each other"... but it didn't come. I told him, honestly, I don't NEED for you to feel what I feel though that would certainly be nice, but what I NEED is honesty. As long as I don't feel blindsided, I'm good. I know there's all this time between us. I know that my time is limited... I look good now but that's not gonna last forever, but you, you'll always be sexy. (I'm getting good at this flattery thing.) I told him, yes, I hope I can change your mind... but if not... he interrupted with "then it's my loss, right?" "No," I said. "Then, I just don't change your mind. I know what I'm worth... I don't need that from you." He said something jokingly about how he's supposed to be the conceited one.
I told him I detected hesitation about staying over... was he comfortable? He said snottily "I fell asleep, didn't I?" Men make me laugh. I think us ladies have a tendency to put far more stock in things than we need to sometimes... even me, who understands men a little bit better thanks to my boy. Their needs are simple, and few. It's us that need a lot of stuff.
Yeah, I'm a fool for the boy. It is, Whatever-It-Is. Though I could do without the StopNGo.