Looking Out For Others
My Sun and I started watching "Idol Aid" tonight; Sis was watching it and told me Earth Wind & Fire were on. Since I love them, I turned to AI, even though I hate the show.
Well, the Sun got hooked, and was particularly touched by the 12 year old African boy who was "Dad" to his younger sister--his parents had both died of AIDS. The Sun said that that would be like his cousin, Flowerchild, raising him. He insisted that we donate, so we did.
I'm working now, and we got the Satellite TV hooked up and I'm on time with the rent for probably the first time in five years, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Next month, when Sallie Mae takes a good quarter of my monthly salary I'll be feeling it again. It wasn't all that long ago (not at all) that I was struggling really hard. Going to school at 38, with no job, living off of student loans, was one of the scariest things I've ever done. Probably the most stupid, when you think about it rationally. So to donate $20 to people I don't know is still kind of a big deal.
But the Sun was adamant, and something in the way his eyes cared about people he didn't know touched me and so we went online and donated.
I used to care like that, when I was his age. I had this whole imaginary charitable company that my sister and I ran, with our husbands Eric and Johnny. We provided homes for orphans, food for the hungry and a school. Me and Johnny had one daughter, Susie, and sis and Eric had several children, or sometimes none at all. Sis wasn't as obsessive in her role-playing as I was.
I guess I stopped caring so much about others, when at eight years old, I and my sister and parents were evicted from our house in Jamaica, and embarked on this wild trip. It was then that I began to see the dark side of people; how when it was you that was down and out, more often than not people kicked you in the teeth rather than lend you a hand. Or, if they did lend you hand, there were strings attached and conditions. But I guess I should leave all that for when I continue my Tales from La Vida Low Budget.
And I guess, seeing my little Sun care, I wanted him to keep that feeling. It's nice that at eight, he still believes that people are good. And so I donated in his name.