Woke Up Sick Today

partially becuz I stayed up much later than I should have IMing the Fabulous.

Wait, backtrack.

Bigbear, The Sun and I went with the Brothers Sensei and the dojo and Shihan and a FormerBigStar to go see The Soul of Shaolin on Broadway. Shihan had the money for the will-call tickets, and Shihan is always late. But reliable. So we all knew he'd show up right at the critical moment, which he did, but BigBear believes in being on time/early (how come I didn't inherit that trait???) so she was kind of freaking.

Waiting for Shihan in front of the Marquis

But of course, Shihan showed up at the critical moment, and we all got seated. FormerBigStar and Shihan seemed to have grown up together and so FBS was very at-ease once Shihan got there; the two of them sat in the row behind BigBear, The Sun and I, keeping a running commentary going throughout the show. It was funny... reminded me of the days when you'd sit in a movie theatre on the Duece and talk at the screen.

I used to tease Nene, especially once he told me he was going back to Babymama, that FBS was going to be my future husband. Even though Nene couldn't do anything about that, it always made me laugh that he would seem to get a little jealous. I made sure to wear a low-cut blouse and tight jeans knowing that FBS was going to be there, and because I knew it would bother Nene. But... Nene couldn't really say anything cuz Babymama's older son was there, and plus I sort of wonder whether FBS is a little um, "happy". It's very hard to tell... mostly he comes across as being a major geek, and when he's comfortable he just acts extra-geeky but my real-world experience tells me if you have to wonder about it, it probably is.

No worries. He's still hellafine and I get tongue-tied around him. I was thrilled that Shihan made a point to introduce me and the Sun specially, and he was extraordinarily charming.

The show was great! Holy Cow. I love the martial arts... and I have a policy of "no regrets" in my life but damn I wish I'd kept up my studies from a younger age. I can't remember how long I actually took karate as a teen... maybe two years? And when my sensei sort of flipped out and fell out with Professor Ernest Hyman, instead of staying at the dojo, the Professor and I quit. If I could do it over I'd have stayed... and I'd be good by now. Instead I pressure the Sun. I don't know that I'll ever be that great myself... if I'll ever be able to last two minutes in a kickboxing ring or win a sparring match, cuz my lungs are all scarred by asthma and my knees are already straining. I don't think I'll ever get a full split again and my legs get all jelly-like when I sit in a horse-stance too long... but I want to keep trying. And watching the monks in these low-ass stances was amazing. And they could go from a push-up position to mid-air in a split second, and break staffs over their heads and abs and hold a rice bowl on their abdomen. And the littlest monk could throw his leg up behind his head without blinking... literally in the blink of an eye. But they could also fight...

The story was a little contrived and the music a little over produced and not live... and I suspect if you weren't already a fan or student of the martial arts and kung-fu movies in particular, you might get a little bored. But it was awesome.

Afterwards we got to pose with them.... well, I took the pictures and everyone else posed:
...and then we all headed home. In the subway at Times Square as we were all getting Metrocards, the monks all came down--I guess headed to their hotel somewhere. They all wore track pants and red down parkas. They were too cute.

When the Sun and I got to the end of the subway line, I thought we'd make the bus onto the Rock... according to the schedule we were 10 minutes early. But the freaking bus never showed... and we stood there huddled in the cold, just waiting. I didn't have the money for a cab.

By the time we got in the house, got the Sun some pasta (thank GOD I'd saved some cooked pasta) and got him in the bed, it was midnight. And I was on my way to bed, but got sucked into Facebook, which I fell asleep in front of.

So I woke up and was on my way to bed, but Fabulous was on, and even though I'd just wanted to say good night we ended up chatting for an hour.

I dunno. I go back and forth. The reality is his friendship is awesome... and I've been attracted to him since school. And everytime we hang out something great happens. And well, never mind. But I don't know anymore. I have no faith in my judgement.

I realized something today, though... and that was that one of the things I like about him is that he walks in the light. He's looking for his path... and for his "crazy"... but there isn't darkness in him the way there was in TomCat. So when I talk to him, even if it's to encourage him, I get recharged, rather than depleted... and that's a very interesting feeling.

The other thing I realized today is that he's at a crossroads. He is searching for his path which is probably why I'm attacted to him. And it was good to realize that today, because in all honesty it means that once he finds his path he'll move on. And I'm thinking if I tell that to myself from the gitgo, it won't hurt so bad when he finds what he's looking for and goes on his way.

Because I am the Comfort Doll... the cuddle when you're scared, the cheerleader when you're stuck. That's what I do. But at least this go round I get re-charged rather than depleted... and that's a great feeling.

So this morning when I woke up after very little sleep, and it was snowing, I didn't have the heart to rouse my Sun from 6.5 hours of sleep and send him off in the cold and the snow to school, and I damn sure didn't feel like sitting in the factory, so I called in sick, called Shoefly to tell her Sun was staying home, and I went back to bed. The Sun slept till 10:30A... I didn't even feel good until noon.

I answered some email and tried to do a little work, and then the Sun and I headed into the City to go to Violin, the Sun protesting mightily.

I told him though, that this was good for him... this was his ticket to college... this is what will keep him from spending his teenage years at loose ends. And I told him that I was so very proud of him, because I am.