I went to my 25th high school reunion today. Twenty-Five years. Twenty-Five years ago I couldn't even picture being 44. Had no idea what my life would be like... but the few ideas I did have; two kids, married, singing... not a one of them is anything close to what my life is like today.
An odd assortment of people showed up. It's funny that the ones who were REALLY popular like the cheerleaders and members of our little basketball team (no offense but they sucked, really) didn't show.
And it's always interesting to see what became of folk; two are police officers, three work for Transit, some are teachers, one is an assistant principal, one's a doctor. One works/sings at Dollywood and the other sings around town. And me. The jobless crazy one. And I was supposedly one of the focused, straitlaced kids... good grades, steady out-of-school boyfriend. They all told me I looked the same.
Looking back at myself today... I'm probably closer to that girl in High School now; open, hopeful, doing what I love... then I have been in a long time. I guess that's a good thing... how many people can say that?
But I felt a little intimidated talking to some of those folk, not wanting to really go into why my FB status updates are so crazy or what I'm really doing with my time. Specially when I started talking to the doctor.
It's funny cuz I had kind of a crush on him in High School, and he said he had kind of a crush on me, but neither one of us knows why nothing ever happened. I told him--and it's true--NOBODY asked me out in High School. At least not that I recall. I guess everyone knew I had a boyfriend outside of school, but NOONE ever hit me up or tried to get me out or anything. I wonder how different my life would have been if someone had....
The school had chartered two buses to go from the new building back to the old, and wow. What memories! The bust of Toscanini no longer resides there, and the old wooden phone booths had been ripped out, and many of the walls painted over but it was MY school. I went up to the tower where the Gospel Chorus rehearsed and where I had years of voice lessons. It was amazing to be back there... But we laughed cuz a few of us had no idea that there was a library there, myself included. I never ever went in there...
One of the folks from the class of '85 had chartered a "party bus"... and what a spectacular thing THAT was!!!! A double-decker bus with neon lights and flat panels... booze (probably), waiters, etc. But I haven't slept in like two days, I need to do laundry and food shopping, and I knew if I got on that bus it was gonna get ugly. So I came home.
The Doctor drove me to 125th, and we sat parked for a minute, just talking. Nice guy... always was. But I've made the rather distressing realization that my heart really wants to be someplace else. But it's not gonna happen. I wonder if I have the strength to let it go before it bites me?