Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Alone With My Thoughts...

...for a few days. The Sun has gone off on a two-and-a-half day camping trip with his school. I didn't pack till last night... but I kept falling asleep and didn't want to pack too much since the suitcase is big to begin with and I'd stuffed his sleeping bag inside. But now I'm worrying I didn't pack enough warm stuff... I did get his hair braided though. I did it myself. Box braids... that's all I can do.

Lots to think about. I keep thinking about a line from a movie I recently refused to see, "He's Just Not That Into You" (cuz I was afraid of it ringing too close to the heart for me, and had visions of myself crying through the whole fucking thing) where a chick says something like "Stop being nice to me if you're not going to marry me". Seriously. Do stop.

I can't say I'm numb today. I'm not numb. I feel like a newly frozen pond, where the deep cold water is still moving underneath, but there's an icy glaze over the top. I look forward to my Gospel Chorus rehearsal later today. I know it will make me feel better.

Lots to write about. I don't like that sometimes I need to spew about something but can't really because now I know people will see it and take it the wrong way... so I'll wait a few days. I need to sit on it, anyway. But I'm drained... like I took too much on again and it hasn't all dissipated yet.

I wish I had a ground wire.

I'm just fed up. Too much to do and I don't feel like doing shit but sleeping. Which essentially means I'm tapped out.

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